10 Internet Free Days?!

CAN SHE DO IT FOLKS?!?!

Here's the deal. I know you guys will like... totally miss me for realsies and stuff but I am going on my first vacation in TWO YEARS and it is an EPIC ADVENTURE to THAILAND (wwwhhheeeee, I'm like a little kid on Christmas morning!) so I have decided that the only way to do this thing right son is to make the trip internet free. The only exception is the required email to the parents back home to assure them I am alive and well.

Now. I will admit. The thought of being internet-free is making me a little antsy. Not so much because I can't live without the information (even though I am a little nervous about how much catching up I will have to do music-wise) but really because the life-blood of blogs is to continuously, consistently, and constantly update. (The 3 C's as I like to call them.) But on the otherhand, I am very much looking forward to getting reaccquainted with my non-internet self who does in fact exist and is very much present when she is off taking yoga classes and not in front of a computer screen. It will be good things all around I'm sure.

So don't abandon PI + CS. I am sure I will miss posting and be doing so like a fiend when I get back. In fact, I might have even staged a new project upon return that requires current pictures of me (eek) and a trip to the Salvation Army. More to come.

In the meantime... bbbbaaaaaaiiiii.

Lest Ye Be Judged.

I have really been wrestling lately with this one particular personal demon. It's something that I would very much like to change about myself and it's been a true struggle.

I am way too quick to judge and much too withholding when it comes to compassion.

This has really been troubling me on many different levels.

First of all, why? There's tons of reasons I have thought about, most of them too personal to share, but I think it also has something to do with the amount of public exposure I've been receiving lately. It's more than I am used too and sometimes I get a little anxious about it all and get really in my head about how other people perceive me. (For a recovering perfectionist, it doesn't take a whole lot of attention to push one into a semi-freak out.) Therefore, it seems subconsciously I figure, "Well I'll just attack you first!" OR alternatively, "No one is taking it easy on me so why should I take it easy on you?!" Which let's face it, just in general is probably one of the lousiest ways to be.

Second, if you ever read any sort of text on Buddhism or meditation or fill in your new-agey choice here, they will all say pretty much the same thing: the qualities that we find so distasteful in others are the qualities that we do not like in ourselves. And I'm finding this to straight-up be the case. The people I am often most caustic with, display the qualities I fear in myself. They are weak or needy or full of drama or seek negative attention or live very unconsciously not thinking about their effect on others. I get antsy and bitchy when I'm around these people, even though when I display all these qualities I would like for others to be patient with me.

So, the name of the game is compassion cultivation around these parts. I really need to work on this and I am going too.

I was having trouble thinking of a song to go along with this post (which I very much like to do nowadays cause it makes me smile) and asked for suggestions on Twitter. Matthew pointed out that R.E.M. has many lovely choices, the most obvious being "Everybody Hurts." I have to admit, I never (NOT ONCE) thought of this song in a compassionate light. It was sort of that song that came on the radio when you're driving your car and you start holding onto the steering wheel very tightly and bawling your eyes out. Cause holy lord was it PAINFUL. And it is painful. But it's also incredibly INCREDIBLY compassionate in that it reminds us we are quite literally all the same, experiencing the same emotions. I'm listening to it in a whole new way. Thank you Matthew.



Also, I really like Michael Stipe's blue eye make-up. That's neither here nor there, I just felt like saying it.

My mind is more at ease.

I've spent all day listening to jazz standards. It is glorious.

I'm also in a self-induced dating hiatus. It's not like one of those "if I go on one more date I'll scream" kind of things but at the same time it sort of is? I mean, I don't know. I started getting a little bitter about the whole thing and I most certainly do not want to feel that way AT ALL. And right now seemed like a good time to take a break.

I've got a huge trip coming up, I'm writing for multiple sites, I have projects I'm working on and the holidays are fast-approaching so naturally that's a busy time. Plus, I always end up talking myself into making at least half my Christmas gifts. The Universe did not see fit to bless me with any "real" sort of artistic talent, but I have oodles of craftiness stored up; the likes of which my family appreciates. Point being, if you're in the market for a small wooden sled with a Santa painted on it than I am your gal. Yep.

Naturally I end up rushing around the last few days before the holiday like some sort of elf to finish all these lofty post-Christmases past expectations I have set. I'm a good gift giver. (And so OVERWHELMINGLY modest, I swear...)

But yes. Dating hiatus. Jazz standards. Is the point of this post.

This is one of my favorite tunes because it is overwrought with melancholy and at the same time, the melody itself is so cheerful and quaint and wonderfully BIG BAND. (They don't make em like they used to. SHUCKS.) I feel very much like that these days. A little bit lonely but overall, content and upbeat.



Also, even though I posted the version of Peggy Lee please don't think I would ever abandon Ella. Both are swell, but I was particularly endeared to the Peggy Lee version because she sang it on the Nat King Cole Show.

I Heart You Forever

"I've always been interested in writing from other people's perspectives and other gender perspectives. I mean, the press statement I made about Logos, which I made in a certain mood-- everybody just needs to realize that when you write something like that you're just in one mood. I was told I needed to write it and it was overdue; I don't even remember what day it was. So whatever I felt about the record at that exact moment is what I wrote in this real homey, man-to-man style."

-Bradford Cox discussing the press release for Logos

First off, I really really REALLY love Bradford Cox just an insane amount. The more I listen to his music or see him perform or read any of his interviews, the love grows and grows. If I ever got to actually talk to him, I don't even know what I would say. I would probably stare at him and stutter something lame along the lines of "I like your stuff" and he would for sure think I am a total weirdo. (Not that he would be entirely wrong.) Or maybe he would understand my nervousness and be so nice and become my best friend!!!

Anyways, I really like what he had to say here except I'm not relating it so much to song-writing as blog posting. Blogs are awesome because they capture so much emotion. Blogs suck because then the posts stay up long after your mood has passed and people continue to make judgment calls about it.

More people should realize this.

It doesn't make sense but somehow it does?

I don't even really know why I'm posting this video. I watched it with my brow furrowed in total confusion all, "what the hell?" I mean, WHY? But then I realized there is no why and so it's actually sort of brilliant.

Princess

Dad: Do you want anything before I start my day?

Linds: You mean... like breakfast?!

Dad: Well I figure as soon as I go to do something you're going to ask me anyways, so I would just ask you first.


:D

Like vs Dislike

I've been in kind of a mood all day and couldn't stop thinking about the post I wrote for ATG about the Dirty Projectors cover on the way home.

I'm not entirely sure if I should buck up and stick to my guns or make some sort of apology for it. But here's the thing.

Generally when I post about music, I tend to stick to writing about what I like. And today I strayed off the map a bit and ventured into unknown territory and was really hard on a track that most people seemed to enjoy. I have no problem with disliking a song the masses generally approved of, but I am a little disappointed in myself for how I chose to approach the situation.

In this particular case, I don't think the cover is adding anything to the original. If anything, it removes some of the unique qualities of "Stillness is the Move." FOR ME. And I wonder how I would have felt if it was presented in a different light. Say for instance, if Coffman and Knowles did some sort of duet remix? I think I would have been transfixed. I certainly don't have a personal vendetta against Ms. Knowles. She's probably a really lovely person who I have quite obviously never met.

But this seems to be sticking in my craw not because I now disagree with what I said or anything, I just wonder if it was necessary for me to say it. And I'm feeling kind of awful for spreading that negativity. But I'm thankful for the experience because I think the only way this whole thing will work for me is if I stick to sharing the music I really enjoy.

And it was a huge reminder for me that I'm really a newbie when it comes to this whole shindig and I really have an awful lot to learn and I'm incredibly grateful to the people who allow me to participate in their conversations: obviously all my boys at ATG and the whole gang at IGIF and Fluxblog and Rawkblog and Lee from Knoxroad just to name a few. They're all really sweet and helpful to me, not to mention they teach me a lot.

Now I'm going to go take a nap and then go see ARMS and try and gain a little perspective and be a little more humble than my behavior today.